My name is Scottie Felicia Oxton. I am a waiter in a restaurant, but I have previously worked in retail and as a support worker for homeless youth. For the past 15 years I have suffered from anxiety and depression that have kept me away from social events and had serious effects on my relationships with the people around me.
It all stems from severe bullying when I was at school. From a very young age I knew that I was different to everyone else. I did not relate to being male at all, or the boys around me. I related better to the girls, but even though I felt very feminine I knew deep inside that I wasn’t female either.
It made me very confused and depressed and I felt like the only solution was to transition and become a woman. But it turned out that wasn’t the answer either. The turning point came when, at rock bottom, I joined and LGBT group and discovered the whole gender spectrum. I found that there were other people like me, and terms for us.
I now define as gender fluid – neither male nor female, but somewhere in the middle. A mixture of both. Finally feeling like I belonged and wasn’t alone has greatly improved my mental state. I’ve had professional counselling, but the best counselling has come from friends and family.
I feel like I am a better person for my mental health issues. It has brought me into contact with some fabulous people and now that I have learned from my experiences I am in a better position to be able to help others.
My message to anyone struggling would be that no matter how low you feel and how dark life is, find your strength and life WILL get better.
A lotus must fight through the mud before it can blossom in the sun.